Things are winding down a bit as we prepare for the big "I do".
The past few days have been very tough as I am battling a chronic health issue. It has affected me so much today that I had to come home after my day at school (I do volunteer work afterwards but had to cancel). So, disturbed about this cancellation and feeling like I let people down, I called my mom to touch base. It turns out that my grandma will not be able to stay more than 4 hours at the wedding due to having to be in rehab for her fractures. So, this means we have to find someone willing to drive her back to rehab after the ceremony is complete. We shall see which family members step up to the plate. One thing is for certain - my mom and dad are NOT leaving. If I have to make a scene and lay a guilt trip at my wedding I will do it. Mom has a large family. SOMEONE should be willing to drive grandma back to rehab so that my parents can be there for me. (I know, I sound like a brat right now).
Music is the other issue at present. I have chosen songs. Last week a relative volunteered to pull the songs from iTunes. Then they said it may be easier if I do it. So I said ok. I will do it Friday. Friday comes and I get a text from said relative, "Wait - I am going to give the DJ an iTunes card so she can download the songs." So I waited. Then I touched base and found out this had not been accomplished. More back and forth happened and now we are back at "are you going to download the songs or am I?" <sigh> I feel like everything with this wedding has been this convoluted. Clear as mud!!!! Now I have the DJ texting me asking if she can speak about what is to happen. No problem. But I would like to have the songs ready for her.
And I am just gonna take a moment to say - I wanted all this crap to be done before this week!!! I TOLD people that I needed to have everything wrapped up before finals week and here we are! It is finals week! And it is because of stupid back and forth crap like what happened with the music! And now, not only am I freaking out because we are down to the wire with this wedding, I am also freaking over final exams, studying, AND I am dealing with autoimmune spinal issues! THIS SUCKS AND PEOPLE JUST DO NOT GET IT. And I am super pissed because everyone was assuring me that I would have finals week to focus on final exams and that I would not need to worry over wedding stuff because it would be done. W.R.O.N.G.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 19
Hello all!
Things have been terribly busy with final exams on the horizon and the wedding quickly approaching. Latest events:
My bridal shower got cancelled. Basically, people were too stressed out and too distracted/ busy and over worked to throw one. I cannot blame them for this at all. I was disappointed that the ball was dropped 1 week prior to the shower though. BUT Deltona did something unexpected! She picked that ball up and threw me a shower at her house and it was so much fun!!!! This also made me realize that my opinion of her has been pretty harsh and somewhat skewed and that I really need to just 'lighten up'.
Grandma is in rehab now from the fall she had in the bathroom a few weeks back. She is doing ok but is still exhibiting some signs of concussion/ stroke.
There have been recent issues with Mr. A's tux. He went to pay for some of the groomsmen and Men's Warehouse tried to make him pay for his tux after we were told he would be getting it for free since he is the groom and we are renting 4 or 5 other tuxes. We went back last night after ironing this out only to be confronted with the exact same issue again!!!! WTF??? Come on people. This is your job!!! Annotate the file so that whomever comes after you will know what the heck is going on! Geez....
Other than the above, things are flowing smoothly with the wedding planning.
Gotta run for now as school is about to start!
Things have been terribly busy with final exams on the horizon and the wedding quickly approaching. Latest events:
My bridal shower got cancelled. Basically, people were too stressed out and too distracted/ busy and over worked to throw one. I cannot blame them for this at all. I was disappointed that the ball was dropped 1 week prior to the shower though. BUT Deltona did something unexpected! She picked that ball up and threw me a shower at her house and it was so much fun!!!! This also made me realize that my opinion of her has been pretty harsh and somewhat skewed and that I really need to just 'lighten up'.
Grandma is in rehab now from the fall she had in the bathroom a few weeks back. She is doing ok but is still exhibiting some signs of concussion/ stroke.
There have been recent issues with Mr. A's tux. He went to pay for some of the groomsmen and Men's Warehouse tried to make him pay for his tux after we were told he would be getting it for free since he is the groom and we are renting 4 or 5 other tuxes. We went back last night after ironing this out only to be confronted with the exact same issue again!!!! WTF??? Come on people. This is your job!!! Annotate the file so that whomever comes after you will know what the heck is going on! Geez....
Other than the above, things are flowing smoothly with the wedding planning.
Gotta run for now as school is about to start!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 18
Bridal Shower?
Nope. Not happening and here's why -
My MoH (GP) started months ago making the plans. She ended up going on vacation. Before she went on vacation she asked my mom for help in planning because she wasn't sure what to do. something happened somewhere, somehow, and my mom ended up taking over the shower planning. This could have happened because GP went on vacation. I suspect the ball got dropped by GP due to her fiance proposing to her on the vacation. Anyhow, because of all the drama with my mom and her having to take care of grandma (she is still in rehab and the nurses there are not that stellar either) the shower got cancelled. It was supposed to take place this Sunday. I am a little sad and this is due mostly to having cancelled other plans and events to accommodate a shower. I am not mad about not having a 'party'. I am mad because people dropped the ball and it makes me feel like I am more of an obligation - that the event was being planned out of obligation and not love (even though I know I am loved. The head knowledge is helping me survive right now). They had 2 months to get shit together and one week prior decide it is "too stressful" to pull off right now. F*k it. I have people running around me complaining about inconveniences, all the crap going on in their lives. None of them have taken a moment to think about my situation. And no - I will not whine about it openly. If they want to know I will tell them. For you, my readers, here is what I have going on - I am in the middle of planning a wedding myself, I am approaching my last year of school in medicine, my house is up for foreclosure and I will have to declare bankruptcy as soon as I get employed. Jobs are scarce and no one will hire me due to my credit (it was destroyed by the foreclosure) and my school schedule. On top of it I have a health issue that is being maintained successfully (thanks to the school and doctors there) but this health issue is what caused the foreclosure to begin with because I could not work and was bed ridden for a while. So yeah.... stress. Let me hear again about how your job is making you tired. Let me hear again that you can't plan anything because you are going on vacation and need a break. Maybe I need to be more understanding? People have different levels at which they can 'break'. Mine is just ridiculously high. BTW - this did cause me to have a meltdown. Cancelling the shower really made me feel unimportant and it made me feel like my schedule was not important - like people are watching their own backs and forgetting to look 'up' at the world. It is sad. I was disappointed. Reflecting on everything - I have made too many allowances for others opinions on this wedding. My recommendations to brides - if at all possible, choose the bridesmaids dresses and tell your maids they either wear the dress you picked out or they can decline the position. Same with the shoes. If they don't like it, they can shove it. It is YOUR day. While my wedding will be nice, I feel like I wasn't 'heard'. For example - I chose a garden to get married in so we could bypass expensive flowers. What happened? I had a plan when we got started. The plan in comparison now is so very different. Why? Because people insisted that their ideas were better and the way to proceed. So brides out there - DO NOT let others plan your day for you.
Nope. Not happening and here's why -
My MoH (GP) started months ago making the plans. She ended up going on vacation. Before she went on vacation she asked my mom for help in planning because she wasn't sure what to do. something happened somewhere, somehow, and my mom ended up taking over the shower planning. This could have happened because GP went on vacation. I suspect the ball got dropped by GP due to her fiance proposing to her on the vacation. Anyhow, because of all the drama with my mom and her having to take care of grandma (she is still in rehab and the nurses there are not that stellar either) the shower got cancelled. It was supposed to take place this Sunday. I am a little sad and this is due mostly to having cancelled other plans and events to accommodate a shower. I am not mad about not having a 'party'. I am mad because people dropped the ball and it makes me feel like I am more of an obligation - that the event was being planned out of obligation and not love (even though I know I am loved. The head knowledge is helping me survive right now). They had 2 months to get shit together and one week prior decide it is "too stressful" to pull off right now. F*k it. I have people running around me complaining about inconveniences, all the crap going on in their lives. None of them have taken a moment to think about my situation. And no - I will not whine about it openly. If they want to know I will tell them. For you, my readers, here is what I have going on - I am in the middle of planning a wedding myself, I am approaching my last year of school in medicine, my house is up for foreclosure and I will have to declare bankruptcy as soon as I get employed. Jobs are scarce and no one will hire me due to my credit (it was destroyed by the foreclosure) and my school schedule. On top of it I have a health issue that is being maintained successfully (thanks to the school and doctors there) but this health issue is what caused the foreclosure to begin with because I could not work and was bed ridden for a while. So yeah.... stress. Let me hear again about how your job is making you tired. Let me hear again that you can't plan anything because you are going on vacation and need a break. Maybe I need to be more understanding? People have different levels at which they can 'break'. Mine is just ridiculously high. BTW - this did cause me to have a meltdown. Cancelling the shower really made me feel unimportant and it made me feel like my schedule was not important - like people are watching their own backs and forgetting to look 'up' at the world. It is sad. I was disappointed. Reflecting on everything - I have made too many allowances for others opinions on this wedding. My recommendations to brides - if at all possible, choose the bridesmaids dresses and tell your maids they either wear the dress you picked out or they can decline the position. Same with the shoes. If they don't like it, they can shove it. It is YOUR day. While my wedding will be nice, I feel like I wasn't 'heard'. For example - I chose a garden to get married in so we could bypass expensive flowers. What happened? I had a plan when we got started. The plan in comparison now is so very different. Why? Because people insisted that their ideas were better and the way to proceed. So brides out there - DO NOT let others plan your day for you.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 17
Last night a group of my friends took me to a really awesome Russian restaurant. It was a few counties over from us but it was worth the drive. The food was excellent and the belly dancers were fantastic! Very impressed! GP (my maid of honor) ordered Mr. A and I a Russian Winter. A Russian Winter is a warm coffee drink with the kick of alcohol (I do not know exactly what was in that drink but I do know my tongue felt like it had been burnt after taking a sip of it because it was so strong!).
(image from nataliefranke.com)
This brings me to my next point and tip for anyone planning their wedding: Take time to have some fun. Things get wayyyyy too stressful otherwise and everyone needs to be able to unwind during high stress times.
The sad part of the evening is that I tried on a dress that I only got to wear out once in the past and I was excited about getting to wear it last night. I got home from school and put it on to discover it no longer fit!!!!!!!! Even though I am a size 2 and my pant size has not changed at all and I am still wearing pants from 10 years ago this dress, for one reason or another, did not fit anymore. I discovered I now had hips that I did not have last year!!! And here is my theory ---
This past February it was discovered that I had an intestinal parasite. It was purged from my body using PinX followed with a week of diluted grapefruit seed extract 3 times a day. Yes it definitely came out. I began to feel better and my body was no longer being robbed of nutrients. Sooooo - certain developmental things that should have happened when I was in my 20's FINALLY happened (I developed boobs and hips). I am feeling infinitely better now and hopefully soon I will be able to exercise everyday again (I had to cut back to 1 to 2 times a week because of my metabolism).
So there you go. Remember to always take a break and to not get crazy or upset if things do not fit right. Because in my case - my size didn't change but my shape certainly did and I am healthier for it! :)
This brings me to my next point and tip for anyone planning their wedding: Take time to have some fun. Things get wayyyyy too stressful otherwise and everyone needs to be able to unwind during high stress times.
The sad part of the evening is that I tried on a dress that I only got to wear out once in the past and I was excited about getting to wear it last night. I got home from school and put it on to discover it no longer fit!!!!!!!! Even though I am a size 2 and my pant size has not changed at all and I am still wearing pants from 10 years ago this dress, for one reason or another, did not fit anymore. I discovered I now had hips that I did not have last year!!! And here is my theory ---
This past February it was discovered that I had an intestinal parasite. It was purged from my body using PinX followed with a week of diluted grapefruit seed extract 3 times a day. Yes it definitely came out. I began to feel better and my body was no longer being robbed of nutrients. Sooooo - certain developmental things that should have happened when I was in my 20's FINALLY happened (I developed boobs and hips). I am feeling infinitely better now and hopefully soon I will be able to exercise everyday again (I had to cut back to 1 to 2 times a week because of my metabolism).
So there you go. Remember to always take a break and to not get crazy or upset if things do not fit right. Because in my case - my size didn't change but my shape certainly did and I am healthier for it! :)
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 16
The Marriage License......
What can I say?
Mr. Adorable and I went on Monday to apply for our marriage license. All went smoothly until we had to pay for it. The clerk swiped my card to report back that it had been declined. So we went across the street to the bank. The bank was closed so I had to withdraw money through the ATM. Upon trying I discover a message stating that my account was "Restricted due to unusual activity on the account." I called the bank number with no luck as I need to speak to a representative and knowing that there was no way to gain access to my account until the bank opened I would have to put off getting our license. I returned home with Mr.A to check my accounts and call the bank customer service line. Explaining what I found on my account (over 1000 dollars overdraft of shopping by some unknown person who somehow got my card number - and all purchases were declined thanks to my bank and the fact that I have practically nothing in my account) - again, explaining what I had discovered to the service rep she checked my accounts, explained that they caught it in time and that the issue was already being fixed. We confirmed my purchases verses the fraudulent ones. The downside is now I have to get a new account and memorize all my numbers again.
So how did they get my card number? I suspect a local restaurant. It HAD to have happened by an employee some place that had the ability to see my card. A restaurant would be logical. I only ate at one since the ordeal began. From now on it is cash only for me. Gotta stay safe and protect my assets.
With all of this going on and my bank account frozen, I will be returning to the courthouse to complete our marriage license application.
What can I say?
Mr. Adorable and I went on Monday to apply for our marriage license. All went smoothly until we had to pay for it. The clerk swiped my card to report back that it had been declined. So we went across the street to the bank. The bank was closed so I had to withdraw money through the ATM. Upon trying I discover a message stating that my account was "Restricted due to unusual activity on the account." I called the bank number with no luck as I need to speak to a representative and knowing that there was no way to gain access to my account until the bank opened I would have to put off getting our license. I returned home with Mr.A to check my accounts and call the bank customer service line. Explaining what I found on my account (over 1000 dollars overdraft of shopping by some unknown person who somehow got my card number - and all purchases were declined thanks to my bank and the fact that I have practically nothing in my account) - again, explaining what I had discovered to the service rep she checked my accounts, explained that they caught it in time and that the issue was already being fixed. We confirmed my purchases verses the fraudulent ones. The downside is now I have to get a new account and memorize all my numbers again.
So how did they get my card number? I suspect a local restaurant. It HAD to have happened by an employee some place that had the ability to see my card. A restaurant would be logical. I only ate at one since the ordeal began. From now on it is cash only for me. Gotta stay safe and protect my assets.
With all of this going on and my bank account frozen, I will be returning to the courthouse to complete our marriage license application.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 15
I just want to take a moment to say:
Even though I have complained, whined, ranted and soap-boxed a lot, I am very lucky to have parents that have budgeted and planned for my wedding. Had they not accepted this as their responsibility then Mr. A and I would either be having an itty-bitty-teeny-tiny wedding or an itty-bitty wedding in about 3 to 5 years because that would be about when we could afford it. I am lucky and I am thankful. Stress can be a very blinding thing and after my previous entry I was able to unwind enough to be able to remember this. Yes, the wedding did turn out way larger than I wanted or had planned initially, but hey - I am not paying for it and most of the increases were due to my mom's wishes. And it is a blessing.
A large part of me is horrified at how much this thing costs because I, right now, am in the midst of financial hell. That hell though, is NOT my parent's responsibility and would be happening wedding or not. This is my opportunity to learn 'how' to live and fly on my own. But I will admit - I am scared as shit. But at least I do not have to go through it alone. Mr. A is my rock and reason to keep trying and pushing and striving for a brighter tomorrow.
Even though I have complained, whined, ranted and soap-boxed a lot, I am very lucky to have parents that have budgeted and planned for my wedding. Had they not accepted this as their responsibility then Mr. A and I would either be having an itty-bitty-teeny-tiny wedding or an itty-bitty wedding in about 3 to 5 years because that would be about when we could afford it. I am lucky and I am thankful. Stress can be a very blinding thing and after my previous entry I was able to unwind enough to be able to remember this. Yes, the wedding did turn out way larger than I wanted or had planned initially, but hey - I am not paying for it and most of the increases were due to my mom's wishes. And it is a blessing.
A large part of me is horrified at how much this thing costs because I, right now, am in the midst of financial hell. That hell though, is NOT my parent's responsibility and would be happening wedding or not. This is my opportunity to learn 'how' to live and fly on my own. But I will admit - I am scared as shit. But at least I do not have to go through it alone. Mr. A is my rock and reason to keep trying and pushing and striving for a brighter tomorrow.
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 14
Not so much wedding drama as it is dealing with the psychology of getting married. As the days draw closer I am growing more anxious. Not because I am afraid of Mr. A but more so because of other factors. I will be seeing family members that I haven't seen for over 10 years and dealing with a large group of people. I know these people love me but social phobia is a hard thing to deal with. In fact, that may be another blog topic I will explore. People do not understand social phobia at all. And it is very difficult to explain the behaviors associated with it.
Today I am experiencing anxiety because of a letter from my car insurance company. I will not go into details about it and most would say it is an easy matter to rectify - but it still involves me having to call the company and talk to people (again - social phobia). So I decided I would handle the issue tomorrow because nothing can be done about it right now at present. Knowing that does not relieve the anxiety I feel towards it and nor will it enable me to sleep tonight.
Another thing stressing me is that my nephew is having his birthday this Sunday. That means I have to be in the same room as Deltona and, quite frankly, I am not ready to do that yet. I keep telling myself that I am going for my nephew and not for her but even this is hard. I do not hate Deltona but I am still very much hurt and upset by what went down a few weeks ago. I need more time away from her and some peace to be able to mentally digest everything properly.
I'm wishing that Mr. A would get a little more involved with the wedding planning. I feel like I have been shouldering a huge amount of this myself. I am not sure if it is even worth bringing this up with him because I do feel like I may just be reacting due to stress.
My parents have been dealing with a lot lately and have also been helping shoulder the wedding. Grandma has been in the hospital all week. She fell trying to make it to the restroom and ended up breaking her hip, pelvis, and sacrum. Her back was so bruised the doctor was concerned about her kidneys and she hit her head and has been delirious all week. Today she seems to be doing better and has had continual improvement (with the exception of a UTI she got while in the hospital).
Tonight, though, the reason I cannot sleep is because I am thinking about all the bills I cannot pay until my job situation is fixed. It is depressing and it really bothers me that kids half my age that are on drugs can land jobs but I can't even get a call back from McDonalds. How crack-headed is that? I need employment ASAP! And no - that lady that was supposed to buy my art has not arranged to pick it up. I will have to put my pieces back on the market.
Per the wedding planning, it is on course. Still no word from our minister but I will be visiting on Sunday so I will corner him then. The itinerary is done. I even made a power point presentation to illustrate what is supposed to occur in the ceremony and how the procession is to play out. Also completed is the guest program for the ceremony. I have instituted the rule of no electronics during the ceremony which I am getting a ton of crap for. I mean, think about this for a second - you pay 1500$ + for a decent wedding photographer (ours hacked off a huge amount of the cost because of the time of our wedding and because of references). So, paying a large amount of money wouldn't you want your photographer to be able to maneuver with ease and get the best possible shots? To not have to worry about someone's LED screen ruining the shot? Also- for me, I would become more nervous and distracted if guests were whipping out their camera phones. And mostly - If I am paying for you to be at my wedding then I want you to experience it and be present. I personally, am tired of competing for attention with phones. People are addicted and they need to know when it is appropriate to turn it off. (Also - keep in mind, I only requested the ceremony be 'unplugged'. The guests can phone/LED/Camera all they want during the reception).
Aside from this, it is all going smoothly again. Just waiting for Mr. A to get off work early one day next week to be able to go apply for our license.
And a side rant because this is driving me BONKERS!!!! Mr. A STILL has his boxes from storage sitting in our living room. It is a freaking tower and I cannot use my desk until they are moved. They have been there for four weeks come Saturday. He said they would be cleared out last week. I know it was raining but COME ON! I do not want to be 'that' person but it looks like I will have to bite the bullet and nag him to get the boxes OUT. Or just do it myself but then that is not resolving anything. The mess is really affecting my disposition.
Today I am experiencing anxiety because of a letter from my car insurance company. I will not go into details about it and most would say it is an easy matter to rectify - but it still involves me having to call the company and talk to people (again - social phobia). So I decided I would handle the issue tomorrow because nothing can be done about it right now at present. Knowing that does not relieve the anxiety I feel towards it and nor will it enable me to sleep tonight.
Another thing stressing me is that my nephew is having his birthday this Sunday. That means I have to be in the same room as Deltona and, quite frankly, I am not ready to do that yet. I keep telling myself that I am going for my nephew and not for her but even this is hard. I do not hate Deltona but I am still very much hurt and upset by what went down a few weeks ago. I need more time away from her and some peace to be able to mentally digest everything properly.
I'm wishing that Mr. A would get a little more involved with the wedding planning. I feel like I have been shouldering a huge amount of this myself. I am not sure if it is even worth bringing this up with him because I do feel like I may just be reacting due to stress.
My parents have been dealing with a lot lately and have also been helping shoulder the wedding. Grandma has been in the hospital all week. She fell trying to make it to the restroom and ended up breaking her hip, pelvis, and sacrum. Her back was so bruised the doctor was concerned about her kidneys and she hit her head and has been delirious all week. Today she seems to be doing better and has had continual improvement (with the exception of a UTI she got while in the hospital).
Tonight, though, the reason I cannot sleep is because I am thinking about all the bills I cannot pay until my job situation is fixed. It is depressing and it really bothers me that kids half my age that are on drugs can land jobs but I can't even get a call back from McDonalds. How crack-headed is that? I need employment ASAP! And no - that lady that was supposed to buy my art has not arranged to pick it up. I will have to put my pieces back on the market.
Per the wedding planning, it is on course. Still no word from our minister but I will be visiting on Sunday so I will corner him then. The itinerary is done. I even made a power point presentation to illustrate what is supposed to occur in the ceremony and how the procession is to play out. Also completed is the guest program for the ceremony. I have instituted the rule of no electronics during the ceremony which I am getting a ton of crap for. I mean, think about this for a second - you pay 1500$ + for a decent wedding photographer (ours hacked off a huge amount of the cost because of the time of our wedding and because of references). So, paying a large amount of money wouldn't you want your photographer to be able to maneuver with ease and get the best possible shots? To not have to worry about someone's LED screen ruining the shot? Also- for me, I would become more nervous and distracted if guests were whipping out their camera phones. And mostly - If I am paying for you to be at my wedding then I want you to experience it and be present. I personally, am tired of competing for attention with phones. People are addicted and they need to know when it is appropriate to turn it off. (Also - keep in mind, I only requested the ceremony be 'unplugged'. The guests can phone/LED/Camera all they want during the reception).
Aside from this, it is all going smoothly again. Just waiting for Mr. A to get off work early one day next week to be able to go apply for our license.
And a side rant because this is driving me BONKERS!!!! Mr. A STILL has his boxes from storage sitting in our living room. It is a freaking tower and I cannot use my desk until they are moved. They have been there for four weeks come Saturday. He said they would be cleared out last week. I know it was raining but COME ON! I do not want to be 'that' person but it looks like I will have to bite the bullet and nag him to get the boxes OUT. Or just do it myself but then that is not resolving anything. The mess is really affecting my disposition.
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