What NOW?
Now Deltona is still misinterpreting things and is telling my mom that I am discussing wedding payments for "stuff" on Facebook. No no no. I posted my craft projects which I had paid for out of my own pocket and I NEVER discussed the costs. Where does Deltona come up with this crap? And WHY is this her business?
I am very sick of her being two-faced with me. If she has an issue with me the she needs to talk to ME about it.
Also- she was telling Kermit all kinds of false data. I am putting this to an end today. This point I will forward anything having to do with tuxes or groomsmen stuff directly to Kermit. She is out of the picture on that.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 5
Thoughts and feelings.
Something that has been eating at me a little bit is the lack of sensitivity with financial situations. Right now, everyone is having trouble. Mom and dad are staying on tight budgets, Deltona and Kermit are maintaining their budget, and Mr. Adorable and I are fighting to get by. Knowing that everyone is struggling and knowing the conversation that took place between my mom and Deltona- and how my personal financial situation was revealed during that conversation - it really makes me 'scratch my head' in question of how Deltona can be perfectly okay with allowing Mr. Adorable and I to 'save up' funds to pay for Kermit's tuxedo. The reason I am not super mad is because I offered to pay it in an attempt to "keep financial peace" and avoid the "we can't afford the $100.00 to rent Kermit's tuxedo" (which me having offered to pay for him happened because Mr. Adorable's sister was to be a bridesmaid and I was going to have to pay for her dress......which is not happening anymore because she had to go to rehab. Given, paying for one person is better than paying for two. Plus, I believe at some point my mother was going to pay for Kermit's tux since I was paying for Mr. Adorable's sister. But this has all become jumbled over time and here were are footing the bill for a tuxedo when we are already behind on some bills.) What bothers me is that Deltona KNOWS we have had the electric shut off, the water, and have had to fork out heavy fines to get those things turned back on, and she is without appreciation or thanks allowing us to scrape together funds for this. I am not over exaggerating when I say it looks like Mr. Adorable and I will be eating beans and rice for a about 2 or 3 weeks until the new term starts and my financial aid kicks in again. And the point of ALL of this:
She has NO BUSINESS knowing my finances and I SHOULDN'T know hers.
I have little patience listening to her complaining about being broke when I know she pays her mortgage double each month (and the extra is not being applied to her principle but to her INTEREST which does nothing to save her money). And why doesn't Kermit wrestle the finances from her, take control and get their crap together? (they have already tried talking and there is no compromise).
Also- my other question to throw out there - My mom knows how I feel about lots of expensive flowers. Given, you only get married once (for me this is true as I do not believe in divorce unless one's life is in danger). So, why do we need to spend so much on flowers????? Can't we use some of THAT to pay for Kermit's tux? Seriously. Let's save some $$$. We could save SO MUCH if I was given a budget and made the floral arrangements myself. Due to school and final exams a week before the day of the wedding, I am forbidden from "doing too much".
side thought - look at all the problems that revolve around money! From my point of view it has caused much of the family drama.
Something that has been eating at me a little bit is the lack of sensitivity with financial situations. Right now, everyone is having trouble. Mom and dad are staying on tight budgets, Deltona and Kermit are maintaining their budget, and Mr. Adorable and I are fighting to get by. Knowing that everyone is struggling and knowing the conversation that took place between my mom and Deltona- and how my personal financial situation was revealed during that conversation - it really makes me 'scratch my head' in question of how Deltona can be perfectly okay with allowing Mr. Adorable and I to 'save up' funds to pay for Kermit's tuxedo. The reason I am not super mad is because I offered to pay it in an attempt to "keep financial peace" and avoid the "we can't afford the $100.00 to rent Kermit's tuxedo" (which me having offered to pay for him happened because Mr. Adorable's sister was to be a bridesmaid and I was going to have to pay for her dress......which is not happening anymore because she had to go to rehab. Given, paying for one person is better than paying for two. Plus, I believe at some point my mother was going to pay for Kermit's tux since I was paying for Mr. Adorable's sister. But this has all become jumbled over time and here were are footing the bill for a tuxedo when we are already behind on some bills.) What bothers me is that Deltona KNOWS we have had the electric shut off, the water, and have had to fork out heavy fines to get those things turned back on, and she is without appreciation or thanks allowing us to scrape together funds for this. I am not over exaggerating when I say it looks like Mr. Adorable and I will be eating beans and rice for a about 2 or 3 weeks until the new term starts and my financial aid kicks in again. And the point of ALL of this:
She has NO BUSINESS knowing my finances and I SHOULDN'T know hers.
I have little patience listening to her complaining about being broke when I know she pays her mortgage double each month (and the extra is not being applied to her principle but to her INTEREST which does nothing to save her money). And why doesn't Kermit wrestle the finances from her, take control and get their crap together? (they have already tried talking and there is no compromise).
Also- my other question to throw out there - My mom knows how I feel about lots of expensive flowers. Given, you only get married once (for me this is true as I do not believe in divorce unless one's life is in danger). So, why do we need to spend so much on flowers????? Can't we use some of THAT to pay for Kermit's tux? Seriously. Let's save some $$$. We could save SO MUCH if I was given a budget and made the floral arrangements myself. Due to school and final exams a week before the day of the wedding, I am forbidden from "doing too much".
side thought - look at all the problems that revolve around money! From my point of view it has caused much of the family drama.
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 4
Silence.
We have heard nothing from Deltona for the past few days since she sat down with mom. It is suspicious. My own manic episodes have decreased as a result of a REALLY spectacular acupuncture treatment. It is like all the aggression and frustration just melted away! POOF! GONE! But, as with all individuals who tend to need drama to survive, I am sure my peace will be disturbed by more random BS. I give it about 2 or 3 weeks. Maybe less......? Who knows.
Now to write about some mild drama and continue to get all of you caught up with the current wedding status.
Tuxedos. Men wear them. Some love them, some hate them. Mr. Adorable loves them and loves to dress up and look nice. So, he went and registered at Men's Warehouse. Our first time in there was discouraging. It was after my martial arts class and after I had accomplished a slow motion face plant into a stool. I know. Weird, right? But it DID happen and I DID come within millimeters of either breaking my nose or losing my front teeth. L.U.C.K.Y.
So we went into the store despite me being hocked up on ibuprofen with compresses on my face. I do not know if it is because we looked kind of scrubby but we were pretty much ignored for a while. Then a salesman tried to help us, did not set up a portfolio for Mr. Adorable, and did not inquire about color schemes or anything. Mind you- Men's Warehouse is an excellent store, we believe we got someone who was brand new and trying to learn their job. I would actually recommend Men's Warehouse to anyone getting married.
About a month later we went to another Men's Warehouse and everything has gone smoothly with tuxedo rentals ever since :)
That just about brings you all up to date on current wedding drama! Now I can begin to write new stuff and new drama and incorporate more of my feelings and thoughts on this journey.
We have heard nothing from Deltona for the past few days since she sat down with mom. It is suspicious. My own manic episodes have decreased as a result of a REALLY spectacular acupuncture treatment. It is like all the aggression and frustration just melted away! POOF! GONE! But, as with all individuals who tend to need drama to survive, I am sure my peace will be disturbed by more random BS. I give it about 2 or 3 weeks. Maybe less......? Who knows.
Now to write about some mild drama and continue to get all of you caught up with the current wedding status.
Tuxedos. Men wear them. Some love them, some hate them. Mr. Adorable loves them and loves to dress up and look nice. So, he went and registered at Men's Warehouse. Our first time in there was discouraging. It was after my martial arts class and after I had accomplished a slow motion face plant into a stool. I know. Weird, right? But it DID happen and I DID come within millimeters of either breaking my nose or losing my front teeth. L.U.C.K.Y.
So we went into the store despite me being hocked up on ibuprofen with compresses on my face. I do not know if it is because we looked kind of scrubby but we were pretty much ignored for a while. Then a salesman tried to help us, did not set up a portfolio for Mr. Adorable, and did not inquire about color schemes or anything. Mind you- Men's Warehouse is an excellent store, we believe we got someone who was brand new and trying to learn their job. I would actually recommend Men's Warehouse to anyone getting married.
About a month later we went to another Men's Warehouse and everything has gone smoothly with tuxedo rentals ever since :)
That just about brings you all up to date on current wedding drama! Now I can begin to write new stuff and new drama and incorporate more of my feelings and thoughts on this journey.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 3
The fact that the insanity seems to be coming in waves and progressively worse is very concerning to me....
More Deltona drama.
Writing nasty texts to a the bride's parents is never a good idea. All I can figure is that she is jealous that I am having a wedding and she feels entitled to mom and dad's wallet. Though – I did research and it is true that TRADITIONALLY the groom's parent's pay for the wedding in Romania. But 2 things here – my family is not Romanian. This was not discussed at length between the parties involved. AND if the groom pays for the wedding then TRADITIONALLY the bride's parents pay a handsome 'dowry'. There was no dowry offered in her case. So why should my parents blindly pay for their wedding? And of course, the anger she feels is being directed at me and my parents. How can someone just assume things and then get mad and hold grudges when those things do not or cannot come to pass? Holy fruit tarts!
Two days later I receive a text from Deltona venting out about how my parents do not care about her and hearing a bunch of crap about how they do not care about Kermit. I advised her that she needed to sit down with my parents and clear the air since nothing would be resolved otherwise. To her credit she did accomplish this. It is never easy to express your thoughts and feelings when you know those thoughts will potentially serve an argument and much pain. The flip side of this was that my mom got to express her viewpoint on many of the topics being hashed up. One of which was Deltona's statement: "How can you sit by and not help Kermit and I when you know we are struggling? How can you do that and pay for Yumi's (me) wedding, her rent, her tuition for school and electric and water???" This threw my mom into near rage and she responded: "Tuition? WHAT tuition? Yumi has a student loan! Plus Yumi has had her electric shut off and her water shut off and I had to let her figure it out and NOT step in to help. We have only helped Yumi with the transition when her financial aid was delayed and she paid us back! As for the wedding - that is my responsibility as mother of the bride. You and Kermit never sat down to discuss planning out a wedding in detail or any possible compromises between our two family traditions. Instead, I get a phone call inviting me to a celebratory dinner to a courthouse wedding that happened behind my back!"
Deltona: Well, that wasn't my fault.
Mom: You are right. It was all three of your faults (meaning Deltona's mom, Deltona and Kermit).
Other allegations made:
Deltona was angry that I showed up for her "celebration" after her wedding dressed in sweats (I do not remember much, but I do not think I knew this was for their courthouse wedding AND they were not going to be showing up anyway).
Deltona's rants about feeling outcasted and unloved since mom works full time and cannot close her counselling office for a chunk of 2 hours to have lunch with Deltona.
Deltona using my nephew as leverage in situations (she did threaten to send him to Vermont to be with her parents while she pursued higher education in another country away from Kermit--- WTF???? RIGHT?).
There was much more said and it went into a lot of past circumstances that were severely misunderstood. Like how my brother went through several financial situations that ended in my parents bailing him out with thousands of dollars. Deltona did not know all of this and whether or not any of this information actually sank in. Well, I suppose we will find out later.
Flowers.
Every time we would
settle on something, something would change and the order would have
to be altered. This is partially my fault since I have NO CLUE what exactly is needed. I form a list of items. I submit the list of items to the florist. I receive a quote back. Then I find out from other parties that I have to add and/or change something. We (my mother and I) have gone through about 5 quotes now. I am all for making my own arrangements and using flowers from Publix grocery store. I mean, really. Let's do a cost comparison: Publix mini bouquet of 4 stems of gerber Daisies = $5.00. Florist bouquet of gerber daisies mixed with roses = $45.00. Do my bridesmaids REALLY need full-on bouquets? I'm sure they will be insanely beautiful but is it necessary?
More Deltona drama.
Writing nasty texts to a the bride's parents is never a good idea. All I can figure is that she is jealous that I am having a wedding and she feels entitled to mom and dad's wallet. Though – I did research and it is true that TRADITIONALLY the groom's parent's pay for the wedding in Romania. But 2 things here – my family is not Romanian. This was not discussed at length between the parties involved. AND if the groom pays for the wedding then TRADITIONALLY the bride's parents pay a handsome 'dowry'. There was no dowry offered in her case. So why should my parents blindly pay for their wedding? And of course, the anger she feels is being directed at me and my parents. How can someone just assume things and then get mad and hold grudges when those things do not or cannot come to pass? Holy fruit tarts!
Two days later I receive a text from Deltona venting out about how my parents do not care about her and hearing a bunch of crap about how they do not care about Kermit. I advised her that she needed to sit down with my parents and clear the air since nothing would be resolved otherwise. To her credit she did accomplish this. It is never easy to express your thoughts and feelings when you know those thoughts will potentially serve an argument and much pain. The flip side of this was that my mom got to express her viewpoint on many of the topics being hashed up. One of which was Deltona's statement: "How can you sit by and not help Kermit and I when you know we are struggling? How can you do that and pay for Yumi's (me) wedding, her rent, her tuition for school and electric and water???" This threw my mom into near rage and she responded: "Tuition? WHAT tuition? Yumi has a student loan! Plus Yumi has had her electric shut off and her water shut off and I had to let her figure it out and NOT step in to help. We have only helped Yumi with the transition when her financial aid was delayed and she paid us back! As for the wedding - that is my responsibility as mother of the bride. You and Kermit never sat down to discuss planning out a wedding in detail or any possible compromises between our two family traditions. Instead, I get a phone call inviting me to a celebratory dinner to a courthouse wedding that happened behind my back!"
Deltona: Well, that wasn't my fault.
Mom: You are right. It was all three of your faults (meaning Deltona's mom, Deltona and Kermit).
Other allegations made:
Deltona was angry that I showed up for her "celebration" after her wedding dressed in sweats (I do not remember much, but I do not think I knew this was for their courthouse wedding AND they were not going to be showing up anyway).
Deltona's rants about feeling outcasted and unloved since mom works full time and cannot close her counselling office for a chunk of 2 hours to have lunch with Deltona.
Deltona using my nephew as leverage in situations (she did threaten to send him to Vermont to be with her parents while she pursued higher education in another country away from Kermit--- WTF???? RIGHT?).
There was much more said and it went into a lot of past circumstances that were severely misunderstood. Like how my brother went through several financial situations that ended in my parents bailing him out with thousands of dollars. Deltona did not know all of this and whether or not any of this information actually sank in. Well, I suppose we will find out later.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 2
Booking the Officiant
I come from an area with a small church. We have maybe two ministers that are able to officiate weddings - the pastor and the music minister. Our pastor was going to be leaving the state permanently for family reasons and the music minister would have to 'hold down the fort' until a new pastor was instated. Given that Mr. Adorable and I were getting married on a Sunday, we could not ask for the music minister to officiate and leave his post at the church.
At this time we were living about an hour and a half south of my church. Mr. Adorable and I decided to find a local church we could go to so we wouldn't have to drive 1.5 hours every week (money is very tight and we are rationing our gas usage). We found our church's sister church and we temporarily made them our church home. After a few weeks of settling in we decided to ask if they could officiate our wedding. Lo and behold! They, too, did not have enough people to allow one minister to officiate! So our new pastor got in touch with one of his friends and Mr.Adorable and I played phone tag with him for a while.
After much stress my mom calls with good news - our old church found a new pastor and he was going to allow the music minister to officiate our wedding!!! Yay! So that part of the quest is complete.
Through this process I have had many people asking "why did you not get a notary for the wedding?" This is because both Mr. Adorable and I are believing Christians. We believe that a vow being made to God (that is how it is in our case) should be officiated by someone we trust that also believes in God. If we went through the state then we could end up with an atheist or someone of another belief system and that just wouldn't make sense for us.
Part 2.2 - Deltona's request to renew her vows
Being highly stressed from what was currently going down with the bridesmaids dresses and the constant contradictions at every turn from Deltona, Deltona sends me a text message asking if she could, essentially, "piggy-back" on my wedding and make this "her" day as well as my own. She wanted to renew her vows since she "did not get a wedding". OMGosh! Was this REALLY happening????? Then she offered to reimburse me for 1/2 of the officiant cost which was almost insulting since we had already booked everything and common sense would tell anyone that we had already dumped a good amount of money into this. It was insulting.
A few hours later and not having responded at all to the text message I get another text stating, "Never mind. Kermit said we would do our own thing on our anniversary." Thank God for brothers.
To be continued in Part 3!
I come from an area with a small church. We have maybe two ministers that are able to officiate weddings - the pastor and the music minister. Our pastor was going to be leaving the state permanently for family reasons and the music minister would have to 'hold down the fort' until a new pastor was instated. Given that Mr. Adorable and I were getting married on a Sunday, we could not ask for the music minister to officiate and leave his post at the church.
At this time we were living about an hour and a half south of my church. Mr. Adorable and I decided to find a local church we could go to so we wouldn't have to drive 1.5 hours every week (money is very tight and we are rationing our gas usage). We found our church's sister church and we temporarily made them our church home. After a few weeks of settling in we decided to ask if they could officiate our wedding. Lo and behold! They, too, did not have enough people to allow one minister to officiate! So our new pastor got in touch with one of his friends and Mr.Adorable and I played phone tag with him for a while.
After much stress my mom calls with good news - our old church found a new pastor and he was going to allow the music minister to officiate our wedding!!! Yay! So that part of the quest is complete.
Through this process I have had many people asking "why did you not get a notary for the wedding?" This is because both Mr. Adorable and I are believing Christians. We believe that a vow being made to God (that is how it is in our case) should be officiated by someone we trust that also believes in God. If we went through the state then we could end up with an atheist or someone of another belief system and that just wouldn't make sense for us.
Part 2.2 - Deltona's request to renew her vows
Being highly stressed from what was currently going down with the bridesmaids dresses and the constant contradictions at every turn from Deltona, Deltona sends me a text message asking if she could, essentially, "piggy-back" on my wedding and make this "her" day as well as my own. She wanted to renew her vows since she "did not get a wedding". OMGosh! Was this REALLY happening????? Then she offered to reimburse me for 1/2 of the officiant cost which was almost insulting since we had already booked everything and common sense would tell anyone that we had already dumped a good amount of money into this. It was insulting.
A few hours later and not having responded at all to the text message I get another text stating, "Never mind. Kermit said we would do our own thing on our anniversary." Thank God for brothers.
To be continued in Part 3!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: part 1
23 June 2013
Please forgive me as this is my first blog. A lot has been unfolding with my wedding planning and it has gotten to the point where I need a creative outlet to avoid turning into a giant Japanese dinosaur and attacking the villagers of my nearby keep. Many of these events, all true, are just too shocking or dumbfounding to just let slide. Let me get you all caught up:
My super adorable fiance proposed to me on Christmas at my parent's house. It was cute. He had wrapped the ring in an old valentines day box I had created for him the previous year and then wrapped that in a box, then that box in a box etc until 5 boxes out. Then, the final box (about the size of a microwave) he had duct taped free weights into the bottom so I would not be able to guess what was inside. The whole unwrapping of the gift was very surreal and I was also battling a very nasty sinus infection. Nonetheless, I ended up saying "yes" when he took the ring box and knelt down to my level (I was on the floor sitting rather like Smeagle from Lord of the Rings) and placed the ring on my finger.
Fast forward a bit, in January we began planning. My parents opted to pay for our wedding which I was hoping to keep as simplified as possible. I had initially wanted to elope, abandon all and head for the hills, but could not due to family politics surrounding my brother's wedding the previous year. Here is the side story. I need to take a moment to explain this as it will later crop up again....
Renaming to protect identity, Kermit and Deltona were arranging a time to go to the court house and have their marriage officiated there. They set up times, dates, with my parents and with me. We all made sure to keep those times clear. Initially, Kermit and Deltona had agreed to wait to go to the court house until the week after Super Bowl Sunday. However, what ended up happening was my mother received a phone call the Friday before Super Bowl with an invite from an excited Deltona to join her, Kermit and her crazy Romanian mom at a local restaurant to "celebrate their marriage". Yeah. Disharmony. Can you feel the tension building yet? So, short notice we end up scraping together a small 'wedding reception' at my parent's house on Super Bowl Sunday in which we were informed that the newly weds 'may or may not even show up'. I came to find out later that there was a lot of influence from Deltona's mom on this. I really think that crazy woman did this on purpose to keep us out of the wedding since my parents refused to pay for a formal ceremony and reception because our family tradition is that the bride's parents pay. Well, the bride refused to try and work anything out with my parents, dug her heels into the ground on the idea that we owed her a wedding. And, like many issues with Deltona, she let it drop and refused to confront the issue within herself.
So, that is the wedding story of Kermit and Deltona.
Back to my story - my parents having been shafted of witnessing the marriage of their first born son would have been deeply hurt if Mr. Adorable and I had eloped. So we began planning what was to be a small wedding. Everything went smoothly until I had to enlist bridesmaids. I absolutely had to have my childhood friend who had/has stuck by me through all these years. My best friend of over 10 years was a definite. I would need her by my side to survive! I wanted to stop at 3 bridesmaids but was informed that I needed to have Deltona and my sister in law as bridesmaids. I was not paying for the wedding so I could not decline this or object to it. And it was "the right thing to do". So, I ended up with 5 bridesmaids.
With that settled I had to choose dresses everyone could agree upon. After weeks of searching we all decided on the dress. The downside was that this dress was sold by a Chinese company. The upside was that the company was very reputable. My maid of honor stepped up to the plate as "the Guinea Pig". So, we shall call her 'GP' for the sake of this blog. GP ordered a size 12. She did not look at the size chart and assumed that size 12 was standard in measurement. Weeks later, the dress came in. It did not fit her. So, I took it after discovering she did not size herself properly and gave it to one of the other bridesmaids to see if it would fit her (we shall call her M). Well, M did not fit it either and she was a size 8 to 10. Curious, I decided to try it on. It almost fit me!!!! And I am a size 2!!!!! So, I did battle with the company on behalf of my friend as they were not going to reimburse her at all. In the end, she got her money back.
Back at square one we shopped for dresses through David's Bridal. I took the girls and let them try on what they could afford with their budget. It worked out wonderfully and everyone looked great. Most of the girls ordered their dresses on the spot. Deltona told me she would order from home that night after budgeting with Kermit.
A few weeks went by and I was trying to find appropriate shoes for the girls. The girls, afraid to order online and stuck on the concept of trying on the shoes and going shopping, ended up going through David's Bridal for these as well. (I cant say all the girls were being sticks in the mud - it was just one or two). This doubled the cost of the shoes. But, they were paying so I wanted them to be comfortable with their choice.
A few more weeks went by and it was delay upon procrastinated delay by Deltona in ordering her stuff. The caution here was that it could take up to 10 weeks to order a dress and 5 weeks have to be allotted for any alterations that may be needed after it comes in! My mom had to intercede (which is sad that apparently I do not register as being an 'adult' in her eyes). But it got done. Everything was ordered.
Join me next time for part 2 as I explain complications with booking our officiant and Deltona's request to renew her vows at my wedding!
Thanks for reading :)
Please forgive me as this is my first blog. A lot has been unfolding with my wedding planning and it has gotten to the point where I need a creative outlet to avoid turning into a giant Japanese dinosaur and attacking the villagers of my nearby keep. Many of these events, all true, are just too shocking or dumbfounding to just let slide. Let me get you all caught up:
My super adorable fiance proposed to me on Christmas at my parent's house. It was cute. He had wrapped the ring in an old valentines day box I had created for him the previous year and then wrapped that in a box, then that box in a box etc until 5 boxes out. Then, the final box (about the size of a microwave) he had duct taped free weights into the bottom so I would not be able to guess what was inside. The whole unwrapping of the gift was very surreal and I was also battling a very nasty sinus infection. Nonetheless, I ended up saying "yes" when he took the ring box and knelt down to my level (I was on the floor sitting rather like Smeagle from Lord of the Rings) and placed the ring on my finger.
Fast forward a bit, in January we began planning. My parents opted to pay for our wedding which I was hoping to keep as simplified as possible. I had initially wanted to elope, abandon all and head for the hills, but could not due to family politics surrounding my brother's wedding the previous year. Here is the side story. I need to take a moment to explain this as it will later crop up again....
Renaming to protect identity, Kermit and Deltona were arranging a time to go to the court house and have their marriage officiated there. They set up times, dates, with my parents and with me. We all made sure to keep those times clear. Initially, Kermit and Deltona had agreed to wait to go to the court house until the week after Super Bowl Sunday. However, what ended up happening was my mother received a phone call the Friday before Super Bowl with an invite from an excited Deltona to join her, Kermit and her crazy Romanian mom at a local restaurant to "celebrate their marriage". Yeah. Disharmony. Can you feel the tension building yet? So, short notice we end up scraping together a small 'wedding reception' at my parent's house on Super Bowl Sunday in which we were informed that the newly weds 'may or may not even show up'. I came to find out later that there was a lot of influence from Deltona's mom on this. I really think that crazy woman did this on purpose to keep us out of the wedding since my parents refused to pay for a formal ceremony and reception because our family tradition is that the bride's parents pay. Well, the bride refused to try and work anything out with my parents, dug her heels into the ground on the idea that we owed her a wedding. And, like many issues with Deltona, she let it drop and refused to confront the issue within herself.
So, that is the wedding story of Kermit and Deltona.
Back to my story - my parents having been shafted of witnessing the marriage of their first born son would have been deeply hurt if Mr. Adorable and I had eloped. So we began planning what was to be a small wedding. Everything went smoothly until I had to enlist bridesmaids. I absolutely had to have my childhood friend who had/has stuck by me through all these years. My best friend of over 10 years was a definite. I would need her by my side to survive! I wanted to stop at 3 bridesmaids but was informed that I needed to have Deltona and my sister in law as bridesmaids. I was not paying for the wedding so I could not decline this or object to it. And it was "the right thing to do". So, I ended up with 5 bridesmaids.
With that settled I had to choose dresses everyone could agree upon. After weeks of searching we all decided on the dress. The downside was that this dress was sold by a Chinese company. The upside was that the company was very reputable. My maid of honor stepped up to the plate as "the Guinea Pig". So, we shall call her 'GP' for the sake of this blog. GP ordered a size 12. She did not look at the size chart and assumed that size 12 was standard in measurement. Weeks later, the dress came in. It did not fit her. So, I took it after discovering she did not size herself properly and gave it to one of the other bridesmaids to see if it would fit her (we shall call her M). Well, M did not fit it either and she was a size 8 to 10. Curious, I decided to try it on. It almost fit me!!!! And I am a size 2!!!!! So, I did battle with the company on behalf of my friend as they were not going to reimburse her at all. In the end, she got her money back.
Back at square one we shopped for dresses through David's Bridal. I took the girls and let them try on what they could afford with their budget. It worked out wonderfully and everyone looked great. Most of the girls ordered their dresses on the spot. Deltona told me she would order from home that night after budgeting with Kermit.
A few weeks went by and I was trying to find appropriate shoes for the girls. The girls, afraid to order online and stuck on the concept of trying on the shoes and going shopping, ended up going through David's Bridal for these as well. (I cant say all the girls were being sticks in the mud - it was just one or two). This doubled the cost of the shoes. But, they were paying so I wanted them to be comfortable with their choice.
A few more weeks went by and it was delay upon procrastinated delay by Deltona in ordering her stuff. The caution here was that it could take up to 10 weeks to order a dress and 5 weeks have to be allotted for any alterations that may be needed after it comes in! My mom had to intercede (which is sad that apparently I do not register as being an 'adult' in her eyes). But it got done. Everything was ordered.
Join me next time for part 2 as I explain complications with booking our officiant and Deltona's request to renew her vows at my wedding!
Thanks for reading :)
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