Wedding Drama Saga: Part 3

The fact that the insanity seems to be coming in waves and progressively worse is very concerning to me....

Flowers. 

 Every time we would settle on something, something would change and the order would have to be altered. This is partially my fault since I have NO CLUE what exactly is needed.  I form a list of items.  I submit the list of items to the florist.  I receive a quote back.  Then I find out from other parties that I have to add and/or change something.  We (my mother and I) have gone through about 5 quotes now.  I am all for making my own arrangements and using flowers from Publix grocery store.  I mean, really.  Let's do a cost comparison: Publix mini bouquet of 4 stems of gerber Daisies = $5.00.   Florist bouquet of gerber daisies mixed with roses = $45.00. Do my bridesmaids REALLY need full-on bouquets?  I'm sure they will be insanely beautiful but is it necessary? 

More Deltona drama.
Writing nasty texts to a the bride's parents is never a good idea. All I can figure is that she is jealous that I am having a wedding and she feels entitled to mom and dad's wallet. Though – I did research and it is true that TRADITIONALLY the groom's parent's pay for the wedding in Romania. But 2 things here – my family is not Romanian. This was not discussed at length between the parties involved. AND if the groom pays for the wedding then TRADITIONALLY the bride's parents pay a handsome 'dowry'. There was no dowry offered in her case. So why should my parents blindly pay for their wedding? And of course, the anger she feels is being directed at me and my parents.  How can someone just assume things and then get mad and hold grudges when those things do not or cannot come to pass?  Holy fruit tarts!
     Two days later I receive a text from Deltona venting out about how my parents do not care about her and hearing a bunch of crap about how they do not care about Kermit.  I advised her that she needed to sit down with my parents and clear the air since nothing would be resolved otherwise.  To her credit she did accomplish this.  It is never easy to express your thoughts and feelings when you know those thoughts will potentially serve an argument and much pain.  The flip side of this was that my mom got to express her viewpoint on many of the topics being hashed up.  One of which was Deltona's statement: "How can you sit by and not help Kermit and I when you know we are struggling?  How can you do that and pay for Yumi's (me) wedding, her rent, her tuition for school and electric and water???"  This threw my mom into near rage and she responded: "Tuition?  WHAT tuition?  Yumi has a student loan!  Plus Yumi has had her electric shut off and her water shut off and I had to let her figure it out and NOT step in to help.  We have only helped Yumi with the transition when her financial aid was delayed and she paid us back!  As for the wedding - that is my responsibility as mother of the bride.  You and Kermit never sat down to discuss planning out a wedding in detail or any possible compromises between our two family traditions.  Instead, I get a phone call inviting me to a celebratory dinner to a courthouse wedding that happened behind my back!"
Deltona:  Well, that wasn't my fault.
Mom:  You are right.  It was all three of your faults (meaning Deltona's mom, Deltona and Kermit). 

Other allegations made:
     Deltona was angry that I showed up for her "celebration" after her wedding dressed in sweats (I do not remember much, but I do not think I knew this was for their courthouse wedding AND they were not going to be showing up anyway).
     Deltona's rants about feeling outcasted and unloved since mom works full time and cannot close her counselling office for a chunk of 2 hours to have lunch with Deltona.
     Deltona using my nephew as leverage in situations (she did threaten to send him to Vermont to be with her parents while she pursued higher education in another country away from Kermit--- WTF???? RIGHT?).
    
There was much more said and it went into a lot of past circumstances that were severely misunderstood.  Like how my brother went through several financial situations that ended in my parents bailing him out with thousands of dollars.  Deltona did not know all of this and whether or not any of this information actually sank in. Well, I suppose we will find out later.