Bridal Shower?
Nope. Not happening and here's why -
My MoH (GP) started months ago making the plans. She ended up going on vacation. Before she went on vacation she asked my mom for help in planning because she wasn't sure what to do. something happened somewhere, somehow, and my mom ended up taking over the shower planning. This could have happened because GP went on vacation. I suspect the ball got dropped by GP due to her fiance proposing to her on the vacation. Anyhow, because of all the drama with my mom and her having to take care of grandma (she is still in rehab and the nurses there are not that stellar either) the shower got cancelled. It was supposed to take place this Sunday. I am a little sad and this is due mostly to having cancelled other plans and events to accommodate a shower. I am not mad about not having a 'party'. I am mad because people dropped the ball and it makes me feel like I am more of an obligation - that the event was being planned out of obligation and not love (even though I know I am loved. The head knowledge is helping me survive right now). They had 2 months to get shit together and one week prior decide it is "too stressful" to pull off right now. F*k it. I have people running around me complaining about inconveniences, all the crap going on in their lives. None of them have taken a moment to think about my situation. And no - I will not whine about it openly. If they want to know I will tell them. For you, my readers, here is what I have going on - I am in the middle of planning a wedding myself, I am approaching my last year of school in medicine, my house is up for foreclosure and I will have to declare bankruptcy as soon as I get employed. Jobs are scarce and no one will hire me due to my credit (it was destroyed by the foreclosure) and my school schedule. On top of it I have a health issue that is being maintained successfully (thanks to the school and doctors there) but this health issue is what caused the foreclosure to begin with because I could not work and was bed ridden for a while. So yeah.... stress. Let me hear again about how your job is making you tired. Let me hear again that you can't plan anything because you are going on vacation and need a break. Maybe I need to be more understanding? People have different levels at which they can 'break'. Mine is just ridiculously high. BTW - this did cause me to have a meltdown. Cancelling the shower really made me feel unimportant and it made me feel like my schedule was not important - like people are watching their own backs and forgetting to look 'up' at the world. It is sad. I was disappointed. Reflecting on everything - I have made too many allowances for others opinions on this wedding. My recommendations to brides - if at all possible, choose the bridesmaids dresses and tell your maids they either wear the dress you picked out or they can decline the position. Same with the shoes. If they don't like it, they can shove it. It is YOUR day. While my wedding will be nice, I feel like I wasn't 'heard'. For example - I chose a garden to get married in so we could bypass expensive flowers. What happened? I had a plan when we got started. The plan in comparison now is so very different. Why? Because people insisted that their ideas were better and the way to proceed. So brides out there - DO NOT let others plan your day for you.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 17
Last night a group of my friends took me to a really awesome Russian restaurant. It was a few counties over from us but it was worth the drive. The food was excellent and the belly dancers were fantastic! Very impressed! GP (my maid of honor) ordered Mr. A and I a Russian Winter. A Russian Winter is a warm coffee drink with the kick of alcohol (I do not know exactly what was in that drink but I do know my tongue felt like it had been burnt after taking a sip of it because it was so strong!).
(image from nataliefranke.com)
This brings me to my next point and tip for anyone planning their wedding: Take time to have some fun. Things get wayyyyy too stressful otherwise and everyone needs to be able to unwind during high stress times.
The sad part of the evening is that I tried on a dress that I only got to wear out once in the past and I was excited about getting to wear it last night. I got home from school and put it on to discover it no longer fit!!!!!!!! Even though I am a size 2 and my pant size has not changed at all and I am still wearing pants from 10 years ago this dress, for one reason or another, did not fit anymore. I discovered I now had hips that I did not have last year!!! And here is my theory ---
This past February it was discovered that I had an intestinal parasite. It was purged from my body using PinX followed with a week of diluted grapefruit seed extract 3 times a day. Yes it definitely came out. I began to feel better and my body was no longer being robbed of nutrients. Sooooo - certain developmental things that should have happened when I was in my 20's FINALLY happened (I developed boobs and hips). I am feeling infinitely better now and hopefully soon I will be able to exercise everyday again (I had to cut back to 1 to 2 times a week because of my metabolism).
So there you go. Remember to always take a break and to not get crazy or upset if things do not fit right. Because in my case - my size didn't change but my shape certainly did and I am healthier for it! :)
This brings me to my next point and tip for anyone planning their wedding: Take time to have some fun. Things get wayyyyy too stressful otherwise and everyone needs to be able to unwind during high stress times.
The sad part of the evening is that I tried on a dress that I only got to wear out once in the past and I was excited about getting to wear it last night. I got home from school and put it on to discover it no longer fit!!!!!!!! Even though I am a size 2 and my pant size has not changed at all and I am still wearing pants from 10 years ago this dress, for one reason or another, did not fit anymore. I discovered I now had hips that I did not have last year!!! And here is my theory ---
This past February it was discovered that I had an intestinal parasite. It was purged from my body using PinX followed with a week of diluted grapefruit seed extract 3 times a day. Yes it definitely came out. I began to feel better and my body was no longer being robbed of nutrients. Sooooo - certain developmental things that should have happened when I was in my 20's FINALLY happened (I developed boobs and hips). I am feeling infinitely better now and hopefully soon I will be able to exercise everyday again (I had to cut back to 1 to 2 times a week because of my metabolism).
So there you go. Remember to always take a break and to not get crazy or upset if things do not fit right. Because in my case - my size didn't change but my shape certainly did and I am healthier for it! :)
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 16
The Marriage License......
What can I say?
Mr. Adorable and I went on Monday to apply for our marriage license. All went smoothly until we had to pay for it. The clerk swiped my card to report back that it had been declined. So we went across the street to the bank. The bank was closed so I had to withdraw money through the ATM. Upon trying I discover a message stating that my account was "Restricted due to unusual activity on the account." I called the bank number with no luck as I need to speak to a representative and knowing that there was no way to gain access to my account until the bank opened I would have to put off getting our license. I returned home with Mr.A to check my accounts and call the bank customer service line. Explaining what I found on my account (over 1000 dollars overdraft of shopping by some unknown person who somehow got my card number - and all purchases were declined thanks to my bank and the fact that I have practically nothing in my account) - again, explaining what I had discovered to the service rep she checked my accounts, explained that they caught it in time and that the issue was already being fixed. We confirmed my purchases verses the fraudulent ones. The downside is now I have to get a new account and memorize all my numbers again.
So how did they get my card number? I suspect a local restaurant. It HAD to have happened by an employee some place that had the ability to see my card. A restaurant would be logical. I only ate at one since the ordeal began. From now on it is cash only for me. Gotta stay safe and protect my assets.
With all of this going on and my bank account frozen, I will be returning to the courthouse to complete our marriage license application.
What can I say?
Mr. Adorable and I went on Monday to apply for our marriage license. All went smoothly until we had to pay for it. The clerk swiped my card to report back that it had been declined. So we went across the street to the bank. The bank was closed so I had to withdraw money through the ATM. Upon trying I discover a message stating that my account was "Restricted due to unusual activity on the account." I called the bank number with no luck as I need to speak to a representative and knowing that there was no way to gain access to my account until the bank opened I would have to put off getting our license. I returned home with Mr.A to check my accounts and call the bank customer service line. Explaining what I found on my account (over 1000 dollars overdraft of shopping by some unknown person who somehow got my card number - and all purchases were declined thanks to my bank and the fact that I have practically nothing in my account) - again, explaining what I had discovered to the service rep she checked my accounts, explained that they caught it in time and that the issue was already being fixed. We confirmed my purchases verses the fraudulent ones. The downside is now I have to get a new account and memorize all my numbers again.
So how did they get my card number? I suspect a local restaurant. It HAD to have happened by an employee some place that had the ability to see my card. A restaurant would be logical. I only ate at one since the ordeal began. From now on it is cash only for me. Gotta stay safe and protect my assets.
With all of this going on and my bank account frozen, I will be returning to the courthouse to complete our marriage license application.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 15
I just want to take a moment to say:
Even though I have complained, whined, ranted and soap-boxed a lot, I am very lucky to have parents that have budgeted and planned for my wedding. Had they not accepted this as their responsibility then Mr. A and I would either be having an itty-bitty-teeny-tiny wedding or an itty-bitty wedding in about 3 to 5 years because that would be about when we could afford it. I am lucky and I am thankful. Stress can be a very blinding thing and after my previous entry I was able to unwind enough to be able to remember this. Yes, the wedding did turn out way larger than I wanted or had planned initially, but hey - I am not paying for it and most of the increases were due to my mom's wishes. And it is a blessing.
A large part of me is horrified at how much this thing costs because I, right now, am in the midst of financial hell. That hell though, is NOT my parent's responsibility and would be happening wedding or not. This is my opportunity to learn 'how' to live and fly on my own. But I will admit - I am scared as shit. But at least I do not have to go through it alone. Mr. A is my rock and reason to keep trying and pushing and striving for a brighter tomorrow.
Even though I have complained, whined, ranted and soap-boxed a lot, I am very lucky to have parents that have budgeted and planned for my wedding. Had they not accepted this as their responsibility then Mr. A and I would either be having an itty-bitty-teeny-tiny wedding or an itty-bitty wedding in about 3 to 5 years because that would be about when we could afford it. I am lucky and I am thankful. Stress can be a very blinding thing and after my previous entry I was able to unwind enough to be able to remember this. Yes, the wedding did turn out way larger than I wanted or had planned initially, but hey - I am not paying for it and most of the increases were due to my mom's wishes. And it is a blessing.
A large part of me is horrified at how much this thing costs because I, right now, am in the midst of financial hell. That hell though, is NOT my parent's responsibility and would be happening wedding or not. This is my opportunity to learn 'how' to live and fly on my own. But I will admit - I am scared as shit. But at least I do not have to go through it alone. Mr. A is my rock and reason to keep trying and pushing and striving for a brighter tomorrow.
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 14
Not so much wedding drama as it is dealing with the psychology of getting married. As the days draw closer I am growing more anxious. Not because I am afraid of Mr. A but more so because of other factors. I will be seeing family members that I haven't seen for over 10 years and dealing with a large group of people. I know these people love me but social phobia is a hard thing to deal with. In fact, that may be another blog topic I will explore. People do not understand social phobia at all. And it is very difficult to explain the behaviors associated with it.
Today I am experiencing anxiety because of a letter from my car insurance company. I will not go into details about it and most would say it is an easy matter to rectify - but it still involves me having to call the company and talk to people (again - social phobia). So I decided I would handle the issue tomorrow because nothing can be done about it right now at present. Knowing that does not relieve the anxiety I feel towards it and nor will it enable me to sleep tonight.
Another thing stressing me is that my nephew is having his birthday this Sunday. That means I have to be in the same room as Deltona and, quite frankly, I am not ready to do that yet. I keep telling myself that I am going for my nephew and not for her but even this is hard. I do not hate Deltona but I am still very much hurt and upset by what went down a few weeks ago. I need more time away from her and some peace to be able to mentally digest everything properly.
I'm wishing that Mr. A would get a little more involved with the wedding planning. I feel like I have been shouldering a huge amount of this myself. I am not sure if it is even worth bringing this up with him because I do feel like I may just be reacting due to stress.
My parents have been dealing with a lot lately and have also been helping shoulder the wedding. Grandma has been in the hospital all week. She fell trying to make it to the restroom and ended up breaking her hip, pelvis, and sacrum. Her back was so bruised the doctor was concerned about her kidneys and she hit her head and has been delirious all week. Today she seems to be doing better and has had continual improvement (with the exception of a UTI she got while in the hospital).
Tonight, though, the reason I cannot sleep is because I am thinking about all the bills I cannot pay until my job situation is fixed. It is depressing and it really bothers me that kids half my age that are on drugs can land jobs but I can't even get a call back from McDonalds. How crack-headed is that? I need employment ASAP! And no - that lady that was supposed to buy my art has not arranged to pick it up. I will have to put my pieces back on the market.
Per the wedding planning, it is on course. Still no word from our minister but I will be visiting on Sunday so I will corner him then. The itinerary is done. I even made a power point presentation to illustrate what is supposed to occur in the ceremony and how the procession is to play out. Also completed is the guest program for the ceremony. I have instituted the rule of no electronics during the ceremony which I am getting a ton of crap for. I mean, think about this for a second - you pay 1500$ + for a decent wedding photographer (ours hacked off a huge amount of the cost because of the time of our wedding and because of references). So, paying a large amount of money wouldn't you want your photographer to be able to maneuver with ease and get the best possible shots? To not have to worry about someone's LED screen ruining the shot? Also- for me, I would become more nervous and distracted if guests were whipping out their camera phones. And mostly - If I am paying for you to be at my wedding then I want you to experience it and be present. I personally, am tired of competing for attention with phones. People are addicted and they need to know when it is appropriate to turn it off. (Also - keep in mind, I only requested the ceremony be 'unplugged'. The guests can phone/LED/Camera all they want during the reception).
Aside from this, it is all going smoothly again. Just waiting for Mr. A to get off work early one day next week to be able to go apply for our license.
And a side rant because this is driving me BONKERS!!!! Mr. A STILL has his boxes from storage sitting in our living room. It is a freaking tower and I cannot use my desk until they are moved. They have been there for four weeks come Saturday. He said they would be cleared out last week. I know it was raining but COME ON! I do not want to be 'that' person but it looks like I will have to bite the bullet and nag him to get the boxes OUT. Or just do it myself but then that is not resolving anything. The mess is really affecting my disposition.
Today I am experiencing anxiety because of a letter from my car insurance company. I will not go into details about it and most would say it is an easy matter to rectify - but it still involves me having to call the company and talk to people (again - social phobia). So I decided I would handle the issue tomorrow because nothing can be done about it right now at present. Knowing that does not relieve the anxiety I feel towards it and nor will it enable me to sleep tonight.
Another thing stressing me is that my nephew is having his birthday this Sunday. That means I have to be in the same room as Deltona and, quite frankly, I am not ready to do that yet. I keep telling myself that I am going for my nephew and not for her but even this is hard. I do not hate Deltona but I am still very much hurt and upset by what went down a few weeks ago. I need more time away from her and some peace to be able to mentally digest everything properly.
I'm wishing that Mr. A would get a little more involved with the wedding planning. I feel like I have been shouldering a huge amount of this myself. I am not sure if it is even worth bringing this up with him because I do feel like I may just be reacting due to stress.
My parents have been dealing with a lot lately and have also been helping shoulder the wedding. Grandma has been in the hospital all week. She fell trying to make it to the restroom and ended up breaking her hip, pelvis, and sacrum. Her back was so bruised the doctor was concerned about her kidneys and she hit her head and has been delirious all week. Today she seems to be doing better and has had continual improvement (with the exception of a UTI she got while in the hospital).
Tonight, though, the reason I cannot sleep is because I am thinking about all the bills I cannot pay until my job situation is fixed. It is depressing and it really bothers me that kids half my age that are on drugs can land jobs but I can't even get a call back from McDonalds. How crack-headed is that? I need employment ASAP! And no - that lady that was supposed to buy my art has not arranged to pick it up. I will have to put my pieces back on the market.
Per the wedding planning, it is on course. Still no word from our minister but I will be visiting on Sunday so I will corner him then. The itinerary is done. I even made a power point presentation to illustrate what is supposed to occur in the ceremony and how the procession is to play out. Also completed is the guest program for the ceremony. I have instituted the rule of no electronics during the ceremony which I am getting a ton of crap for. I mean, think about this for a second - you pay 1500$ + for a decent wedding photographer (ours hacked off a huge amount of the cost because of the time of our wedding and because of references). So, paying a large amount of money wouldn't you want your photographer to be able to maneuver with ease and get the best possible shots? To not have to worry about someone's LED screen ruining the shot? Also- for me, I would become more nervous and distracted if guests were whipping out their camera phones. And mostly - If I am paying for you to be at my wedding then I want you to experience it and be present. I personally, am tired of competing for attention with phones. People are addicted and they need to know when it is appropriate to turn it off. (Also - keep in mind, I only requested the ceremony be 'unplugged'. The guests can phone/LED/Camera all they want during the reception).
Aside from this, it is all going smoothly again. Just waiting for Mr. A to get off work early one day next week to be able to go apply for our license.
And a side rant because this is driving me BONKERS!!!! Mr. A STILL has his boxes from storage sitting in our living room. It is a freaking tower and I cannot use my desk until they are moved. They have been there for four weeks come Saturday. He said they would be cleared out last week. I know it was raining but COME ON! I do not want to be 'that' person but it looks like I will have to bite the bullet and nag him to get the boxes OUT. Or just do it myself but then that is not resolving anything. The mess is really affecting my disposition.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 13
How did I get saddled with BRIDAL SHOWER crap? I was disciplined for helping my MOH with this and backed off and now my mom is helping and things are slowly ending up in my lap. I just got an email requesting a guest list and their addresses. I sent a comprehensive list and immediately I get an email telling me that there are too many people and that it must be trimmed down. I replied back that it was a comprehensive list and that (essentially) she could pick whomever because I am focusing on school right now and I would also be happy just not doing the shower at all.
People are busy anyways so I do not think it will be missed. I am SO tired of spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. My mental focus needs to be on school. I am not looking forward to finals week with the way things are panning out.
Still no email from my minister. I will call him if I hear nothing by Friday this week.
People are busy anyways so I do not think it will be missed. I am SO tired of spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. My mental focus needs to be on school. I am not looking forward to finals week with the way things are panning out.
Still no email from my minister. I will call him if I hear nothing by Friday this week.
Wedding Details: Part 2 - Table Centerpieces
Rather than paying more money for flowers I got a REALLY great deal on 10" round bud vases!!!!! I paid $40.00 for 10. That is really excellent as I had 2 already. So now I have enough for every table. Then I located some submersible LEDs that can stay on for up to 48 hours before dying, some orange gerbera daisy heads, some glass rocks, and some baby's breath. The total amount spent for the 12 tables was less than 100$. And the centerpieces look AWESOME!!!!
Since these pictures were taken, I have made a little base for them to sit on and moved the LED underneath and covered it with a coffee filter to make the light more ambient - so that the bowl glows and it isn't just a beam of light coming out of the center of the glass rocks.
Since these pictures were taken, I have made a little base for them to sit on and moved the LED underneath and covered it with a coffee filter to make the light more ambient - so that the bowl glows and it isn't just a beam of light coming out of the center of the glass rocks.
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 12
Rehearsal Dinner....?
Well, Mr. Adorable had it all figured out for the rehearsal dinner and then ONE thing (or rather, idea) sent it all spinning again. There seems to be a lot of back and forth with my parents about doing an actual rehearsal on site. So, Mr. Adorable and I accommodate that with a tentative trip to the wedding site before going to the dinner. Then I later (after weeks of trying to settle this) get a text from my mom stating we were going to do a walk through rehearsal the day of the wedding ONE HOUR before the ceremony. WTF????? Has everyone gone insane? I am almost 100% sure I will be getting dressed or IN my dress at that time and Mr. Adorable is NOT allowed to see me that day at all, much less in my dress. How does she think this is going to work?
So, I had the honor and responsibility for clarifying this with the minister who has yet to get back to me via email. Again - how is planning the rehearsal/dinner turning into my responsibility when I have been already given the verbal "This is the groom's responsibility and you are not to plan this."? Holy koala bears......
So, Mr. A and I decide to do the rehearsal dinner 2 nights prior to the wedding, if anything as a 'get to know you' session for our parents. Then, at that time we can do a verbal 'walk through' of the wedding. And on the wedding day, before I am gowned up we do a rehearsal and if I am already getting dressed then I will have a bridesmaid stand in for me.
I ran this idea by my mom. I got this response - "If we do go out to eat and everyone pays their way then you know dad and I are going to have to pay for about six meals because we are not going to allow the minister to pay for himself..." (and the implication of grandparents). And then she followed it up with - "unless we can convince dad to let the grandparents pay for themselves."
So here is my new proposition - NO dinner. I am SICK of the marry-go-round. I will make a written itinerary step by step of what is to happen. DONE WITH THIS.
Well, Mr. Adorable had it all figured out for the rehearsal dinner and then ONE thing (or rather, idea) sent it all spinning again. There seems to be a lot of back and forth with my parents about doing an actual rehearsal on site. So, Mr. Adorable and I accommodate that with a tentative trip to the wedding site before going to the dinner. Then I later (after weeks of trying to settle this) get a text from my mom stating we were going to do a walk through rehearsal the day of the wedding ONE HOUR before the ceremony. WTF????? Has everyone gone insane? I am almost 100% sure I will be getting dressed or IN my dress at that time and Mr. Adorable is NOT allowed to see me that day at all, much less in my dress. How does she think this is going to work?
So, I had the honor and responsibility for clarifying this with the minister who has yet to get back to me via email. Again - how is planning the rehearsal/dinner turning into my responsibility when I have been already given the verbal "This is the groom's responsibility and you are not to plan this."? Holy koala bears......
So, Mr. A and I decide to do the rehearsal dinner 2 nights prior to the wedding, if anything as a 'get to know you' session for our parents. Then, at that time we can do a verbal 'walk through' of the wedding. And on the wedding day, before I am gowned up we do a rehearsal and if I am already getting dressed then I will have a bridesmaid stand in for me.
I ran this idea by my mom. I got this response - "If we do go out to eat and everyone pays their way then you know dad and I are going to have to pay for about six meals because we are not going to allow the minister to pay for himself..." (and the implication of grandparents). And then she followed it up with - "unless we can convince dad to let the grandparents pay for themselves."
So here is my new proposition - NO dinner. I am SICK of the marry-go-round. I will make a written itinerary step by step of what is to happen. DONE WITH THIS.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Wedding Details: Part 1 - Beautiful Flowers
I'm going to take some time to write about the details and ideas for my wedding. I have spent a lot of time dwelling on the drama, using this blog as a means to maintain my sanity through all of the planning, so I am going to start a series within this blog about the more creative aspects of the wedding.
Flowers. Though, I have mentioned that planning these has brought me much annoyance it is finally settling down to where I can enjoy what is going on. My wedding theme is centered around orange gerbera daisies. Mr. Adorable on one of our first dates gave me a bundle of these magnificent orange flowers because he remembered that my favorite color is orange. Ever since he has spontaneously surprised me with orange gerberas.
Orange is a great color but I needed to break it up some with another color so I picked shades of purple. The two colors work wonderfully together as you will see in the picture below:
We ended up not with this exact combination of florals but instead with a mixture of voodoo roses, white roses,and orange gerbera with some sprigs of baby's breath for the bridemaid's bouquets. For my bridal bouquet it will be straight roses - white with baby's breath.
Here is a voodoo rose:
(image from only-roses.com)
So, now I am a bit more excited about the flowers. Sitting down with our florist REALLY helped me to get a picture of what exactly our money was buying. The quality of their flowers is amazing!
So, since we dropped the purple stock we decided to use purple toned baby's breath instead. This will tie in well with the purple dresses my bridesmaids selected from David's Bridal:
Super cute!
And their shoes will match their bouquets (yes, orange) and their hair flowers I designed for them:
Flowers. Though, I have mentioned that planning these has brought me much annoyance it is finally settling down to where I can enjoy what is going on. My wedding theme is centered around orange gerbera daisies. Mr. Adorable on one of our first dates gave me a bundle of these magnificent orange flowers because he remembered that my favorite color is orange. Ever since he has spontaneously surprised me with orange gerberas.
Orange is a great color but I needed to break it up some with another color so I picked shades of purple. The two colors work wonderfully together as you will see in the picture below:
We ended up not with this exact combination of florals but instead with a mixture of voodoo roses, white roses,and orange gerbera with some sprigs of baby's breath for the bridemaid's bouquets. For my bridal bouquet it will be straight roses - white with baby's breath.
Here is a voodoo rose:
(image from only-roses.com)
So, now I am a bit more excited about the flowers. Sitting down with our florist REALLY helped me to get a picture of what exactly our money was buying. The quality of their flowers is amazing!
So, since we dropped the purple stock we decided to use purple toned baby's breath instead. This will tie in well with the purple dresses my bridesmaids selected from David's Bridal:
Super cute!And their shoes will match their bouquets (yes, orange) and their hair flowers I designed for them:
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 11
Good news and recap on situations!
Our officiant has been booked! (I do not know if I posted this yet). The new pastor at my old church deemed that the music minister could officiate my wedding! Yay!
The Man of honor was able to take off of work that weekend. I'm so happy about this. Had it gone the other way I wold have ceased shopping at that store and probably would have withdrawn my cake order from them. LOL.
The rehearsal dinner is slowly getting ironed out. I discovered if I talked to my mom on speaker phone when Mr. Adorable was in the room that we could conduct the call like a conference call. That saves me from having to mediate between them.
I am still without employment. My new game plan is to go through an agency. I will take my time and reorganize myself then plan to have a job after the wedding. For now it will have to be temp work or nothing since the wedding date is very close now. BTW- my buyer STILL has not picked up her paintings. I will give it one more week before putting them back up for sale.
Here is my 'to do' list for the wedding for the next few days:
-gather addresses and names for Man of honor so he can send invites for bachelor party
-same as above but for bridal shower
-plan details for rehearsal dinner
-send final list/ outline to the DJ
-make program for guests
-finish table decor project
-schedule hair and makeup trial run
-schedule time to get marriage license
-schedule time to meet with officiant
Well, guess I should get on task!!! Everyone have a great day :)
Our officiant has been booked! (I do not know if I posted this yet). The new pastor at my old church deemed that the music minister could officiate my wedding! Yay!
The Man of honor was able to take off of work that weekend. I'm so happy about this. Had it gone the other way I wold have ceased shopping at that store and probably would have withdrawn my cake order from them. LOL.
The rehearsal dinner is slowly getting ironed out. I discovered if I talked to my mom on speaker phone when Mr. Adorable was in the room that we could conduct the call like a conference call. That saves me from having to mediate between them.
I am still without employment. My new game plan is to go through an agency. I will take my time and reorganize myself then plan to have a job after the wedding. For now it will have to be temp work or nothing since the wedding date is very close now. BTW- my buyer STILL has not picked up her paintings. I will give it one more week before putting them back up for sale.
Here is my 'to do' list for the wedding for the next few days:
-gather addresses and names for Man of honor so he can send invites for bachelor party
-same as above but for bridal shower
-plan details for rehearsal dinner
-send final list/ outline to the DJ
-make program for guests
-finish table decor project
-schedule hair and makeup trial run
-schedule time to get marriage license
-schedule time to meet with officiant
Well, guess I should get on task!!! Everyone have a great day :)
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 10
Nothing new with Deltona (thank goodness).
I'm trying to come down off of being extremely stressed from multiple things going on in my life. Along with the wedding I am trying extremely hard to land a part time job for while I am in school. It is very discouraging to go into an interview and come out with hope and then to have that hope smashed and crumpled. If I didn't need to work I wouldn't worry about it but I need the job to be able to supplement my student loan, to be able to pay for board exams later, and to be able to pay my lawyer so I can file bankruptcy. The story behind that - a few years back I got very sick at work and was put on disability for several months. At the end of the disability it was discovered that I had markers for either systemic Lupus or RA. Nothing to really be concerned about at this stage of my life. However, the physical symptoms I was experiencing while on disability made it so that I had to quit my job. During this time of reflection I decided to change careers and do something closer to my heart since I am still young and cannot risk the continued high stress of my old position (I was a contractor and probably would have ended up terminated at the end of my contract term since I had missed so much work). So, with all of this going on I had to put my house up for short sale. This dragged out for months and the stress of it was wearing on my health and well being. Then it got to the point where I had to opt for foreclosure. I spoke with a lawyer at that point who determined this to be the best option for my circumstance. At this juncture I had just started school too.
That is what is going on now. I am still trying to get a job. I am still facing the foreclosure mess without a lawyer (I will not ask my parents to help with this because it is my battle and not their responsibility). With all this chaos going on it is a wonder that Mr. Adorable wants to stick by my side. He must really love me :)
Other recent wedding related events - My maid of honor (GP) just got engaged. I am immediately hearing how 'stress-free' and small she intends her wedding to be. Funny. Mine started off that way too. It did not last long. When she gets into the thick of it she will realize the family politics and that sometimes you have to endure bull shit to keep peace in the family. I say this because there were a few remarks alluding to me being too accepting of BS. Which brings me around to another point - WHY the Hell do people insist on treating me like a child? I know I can be immature at times (who isn't?) but why on earth do people constantly compare their situations to mine and then treat me like I am a kid who needs to be counselled on the proper way to handle life? I have been through a lot in my life. I know I am not perfect and I do make mistakes. But why is it that people insist my stress is out of control when I decide to voice it? Most of the time I am a very calm individual and I fight my own battles. So where do people get off telling me that my issues are small/ not to get mad or react/ talking to me in terms that place me in a subversive position (a child's position)? The point is - no one has a right to be that way to anyone (I am not talking about parent to child relationships). And no - I am not jealous of GP. When the comments first started and I noticed my guard going up I began to check myself and ask those questions. And the answer is 'no'. I am not. I just want myself and my situations/ issues to be treated respectfully. And the way her comments came across sounded more like, "I am not going to do what you did because it was a disaster." That was probably not what was intended but it is how it came across. This was not well received by me because I am already at the stage where I want this wedding to be over. Why is it girls/women cause so much drama???? I had very little drama before I involved bridesmaids. I just think over and over - WHY did I allow Kermit and Deltona's court house situation to influence my decision to not elope? But, even now, I think I would have made the same decision to have a wedding because my parents deserve to see ONE of their kids walk the aisle.
.....Such a sick and twisted game....... why can't people just be happy?
I'm trying to come down off of being extremely stressed from multiple things going on in my life. Along with the wedding I am trying extremely hard to land a part time job for while I am in school. It is very discouraging to go into an interview and come out with hope and then to have that hope smashed and crumpled. If I didn't need to work I wouldn't worry about it but I need the job to be able to supplement my student loan, to be able to pay for board exams later, and to be able to pay my lawyer so I can file bankruptcy. The story behind that - a few years back I got very sick at work and was put on disability for several months. At the end of the disability it was discovered that I had markers for either systemic Lupus or RA. Nothing to really be concerned about at this stage of my life. However, the physical symptoms I was experiencing while on disability made it so that I had to quit my job. During this time of reflection I decided to change careers and do something closer to my heart since I am still young and cannot risk the continued high stress of my old position (I was a contractor and probably would have ended up terminated at the end of my contract term since I had missed so much work). So, with all of this going on I had to put my house up for short sale. This dragged out for months and the stress of it was wearing on my health and well being. Then it got to the point where I had to opt for foreclosure. I spoke with a lawyer at that point who determined this to be the best option for my circumstance. At this juncture I had just started school too.
That is what is going on now. I am still trying to get a job. I am still facing the foreclosure mess without a lawyer (I will not ask my parents to help with this because it is my battle and not their responsibility). With all this chaos going on it is a wonder that Mr. Adorable wants to stick by my side. He must really love me :)
Other recent wedding related events - My maid of honor (GP) just got engaged. I am immediately hearing how 'stress-free' and small she intends her wedding to be. Funny. Mine started off that way too. It did not last long. When she gets into the thick of it she will realize the family politics and that sometimes you have to endure bull shit to keep peace in the family. I say this because there were a few remarks alluding to me being too accepting of BS. Which brings me around to another point - WHY the Hell do people insist on treating me like a child? I know I can be immature at times (who isn't?) but why on earth do people constantly compare their situations to mine and then treat me like I am a kid who needs to be counselled on the proper way to handle life? I have been through a lot in my life. I know I am not perfect and I do make mistakes. But why is it that people insist my stress is out of control when I decide to voice it? Most of the time I am a very calm individual and I fight my own battles. So where do people get off telling me that my issues are small/ not to get mad or react/ talking to me in terms that place me in a subversive position (a child's position)? The point is - no one has a right to be that way to anyone (I am not talking about parent to child relationships). And no - I am not jealous of GP. When the comments first started and I noticed my guard going up I began to check myself and ask those questions. And the answer is 'no'. I am not. I just want myself and my situations/ issues to be treated respectfully. And the way her comments came across sounded more like, "I am not going to do what you did because it was a disaster." That was probably not what was intended but it is how it came across. This was not well received by me because I am already at the stage where I want this wedding to be over. Why is it girls/women cause so much drama???? I had very little drama before I involved bridesmaids. I just think over and over - WHY did I allow Kermit and Deltona's court house situation to influence my decision to not elope? But, even now, I think I would have made the same decision to have a wedding because my parents deserve to see ONE of their kids walk the aisle.
.....Such a sick and twisted game....... why can't people just be happy?
Monday, July 8, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 9
I feel like this battle will not end. The wedding insanity just will not stop and despite taking a break from planning I still feel like I cannot deal with the stress. Deltona is behaving herself for the time being but other matters are cropping up. I just had to tell Kermit that I would not be able to afford his tuxedo. So, either he is going to have to pay on his own or he will not be able to be in the wedding. Then Mr. Adorable tells me that the best man may not be able to make it because of his boss and inability to get the time off because it is "back to school" time (mind you, this is the same boss that told our best man he could not go to the ER when his appendix was on the verge of rupturing and as a result our best man spent 45 days in the hospital with peritonitis). So yeah. We are potentially down two groomsmen. AND one of my bridesmaids had a freak household accident and will not be able to come. So we are also down a bridesmaid. What is really getting to me is how I am feeling like I am doing everything myself. Tasks that were delegated to others ended up back in my lap because people do not know how to make decisions. That goodness for my maid of honor! She seems to be the only one capable of arranging things without me as a crutch.
Right now the rehearsal dinner has me stressed out. This is something the groom and his family are supposed to arrange and Mr. Adorable agreed to getting this underway. This area is still very vague and 'in the dark' and it is contributing to my nerves. I really do not want the responsibility of planning that too. Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Adorable understands exactly how much stress all of this is and how much planning I have had to do already. I sort of feel alone in all this and I want the confidence that he is helping. This is where I just need to back off and let him plan as he does.
One of the other areas of annoyance for me is how people cannot seem to commit to anything. I have guests telling me "I may be able to come but then, I may not be able to. I will let you know when the wedding date is closer." ?????? Really? In my opinion this shows that you really are not interested in coming. Obviously this ocassion is not that important to you if that is the stance you are taking. Well, the RSVP date is on the horizon. Anyone who has not responded by then will be dropped from the guest list and I will invite those that really do want to be at my wedding. This is sad.
I have school in 15 minutes so I will need to wrap this up.
Right now the rehearsal dinner has me stressed out. This is something the groom and his family are supposed to arrange and Mr. Adorable agreed to getting this underway. This area is still very vague and 'in the dark' and it is contributing to my nerves. I really do not want the responsibility of planning that too. Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Adorable understands exactly how much stress all of this is and how much planning I have had to do already. I sort of feel alone in all this and I want the confidence that he is helping. This is where I just need to back off and let him plan as he does.
One of the other areas of annoyance for me is how people cannot seem to commit to anything. I have guests telling me "I may be able to come but then, I may not be able to. I will let you know when the wedding date is closer." ?????? Really? In my opinion this shows that you really are not interested in coming. Obviously this ocassion is not that important to you if that is the stance you are taking. Well, the RSVP date is on the horizon. Anyone who has not responded by then will be dropped from the guest list and I will invite those that really do want to be at my wedding. This is sad.
I have school in 15 minutes so I will need to wrap this up.
Friday, July 5, 2013
Wedding Drama Saga: Part 8
Things seem to be ok. I realized that much of my anger towards Deltona was because I was upset that I wasn't included in conversations that had to do with my affairs. Not cool. But, I'm over it and I am ready to move forward.
I had to ask my brother to pay for his own tuxedo since it was either pay a bill or pay for him. He seemed cool about it.
Deltona has calmed down with my mom and they seem to be getting along harmoniously.
As for me, I feel less stressed though I have lost 5 lbs and am still having tummy issues. This I know will also pass.
Now if I can just figure out my regular bills. This would be easier if my buyer (I sell art) would buy the pieces she said she was going to pick up last week. Things will greatly improve if I get that job I interviewed for a few days ago <keeping my fingers crossed!>.
I had to ask my brother to pay for his own tuxedo since it was either pay a bill or pay for him. He seemed cool about it.
Deltona has calmed down with my mom and they seem to be getting along harmoniously.
As for me, I feel less stressed though I have lost 5 lbs and am still having tummy issues. This I know will also pass.
Now if I can just figure out my regular bills. This would be easier if my buyer (I sell art) would buy the pieces she said she was going to pick up last week. Things will greatly improve if I get that job I interviewed for a few days ago <keeping my fingers crossed!>.
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